Disclaimer: Many tears of nostalgia were abused during the writing of this article. (IYKYK)
True Xena fans are never ashamed to say that they love the show, despite the severe ups and downs the writing went through over the years. From the first episode I saw (somewhere in season two’s original run) I was enthralled. I also discovered the huge fandom out there, particularly the fanfic community, one of the biggest and most active of any fandom, ever, even to this day.
Despite being ridiculed by critics (imagine sapphic TV being ridiculed? Never!), X:WP was a huge hit, and was a show that truly connected with its audience. For six years I read and wrote fanfic, I made the dearest and best of friends, I built websites, I participated in fan communities, I spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on merchandise.
Why did I love her? Of course, I thought she was queer! But there were other reasons, too. Unlike other genre heroines, Xena had no superpowers to help in her fight against evil. All she had was her intelligence, her will, her strength, her courage, her heart, and of course her overachieving sidekick.
Xena: Warrior Princess.
It didn't take long before fans began speculating on the Xena/Gabrielle relationship. When the producers caught wind their lesbian audience was growing, some writers went out of their way to play with it, while others tried to establish Xena and/or Gabrielle as exclusively heterosexual.
As a result, going back to the canon to pinpoint the exact nature of the relationship is a farcical exercise. There is enough evidence to support any position on it you wish to take, but the ferocity of the debate sometimes took hard core fans by surprise. Some people just did not, under any circumstances, want them to be gay. When asked to weigh in, Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor were reluctant to pick a side, though in recent years both actresses have commented that they believed the pair were lovers.
What we could all agree on was that the importance of the Xena/Gabrielle relationship lay in love and loyalty, regardless of sexuality. It emphasised friendship, and the bonds that exist between women. It was better, I think, for people to be allowed to make up their own minds, despite how much subtext fans (myself included) cherished those overtly-romantic moments.
Xena was an extremely violent character, which I admit was one of the reasons I liked her. One of the most important messages of the show was that violence is acceptable only as a last resort, but when Xena was forced to accept violence as the solution she was strong, courageous, ferocious and unwavering.
Gabrielle was positioned more as the negotiator whose first thought was towards the victims of violence. She believed Xena was as much a victim of violence as a perpetrator. Both always came to see merit in the path chosen by the other. It seemed so simple and even silly at times, but the telling of it was both powerful and original.
X:WP was also the first show I ever became aware of as having a social impact. X:WP made women feel empowered, gay or straight. Within the Xenaverse we made each other stronger, told stories to each other, and encouraged each other socially and creatively. I know this experience is not unique to Xena fans, but for me Xena really started it my relationship with fandom, and has kept me within it for decades.
I promised myself if I ever met Lucy Lawless I'd manage to keep control of my wits, shake her hand and thank her from the bottom of my heart for playing, with such humour and grace, the first superhero I ever looked up to.
Reader: I failed. But I do have a great picture of the occasion.